It’s been a crazy few days. I seem to rush around, achieve little, and then fall flat, absolutely drained of energy. My sleep ….. seems it isn’t happening for me despite feeling shattered most of the time. On the odd occasion I do sleep then the nightmares kick in or the Serco alarm makes the phone give one ring, as it does through the day, and that's it ....game over.
I saw one of the medics I’ve been seeing for over 10 years today. I mentioned I was doing this blog to try and get things changed for those who will sadly come in the future. To my absolute horror he revealed to me that there’d been another patient in the clinic with an identical story to the one I’d revealed. No panic, there's no breach of confidentiality here, just a statement of fact – a sad fact. I don’t know if this is the woman who left a comment on my blog or not. I have the feeling that when Lothian and Borders Police traced 38 Carruthers victims, there were always bound to many more.
How can 7 years and 4 months be enough for these crimes? The licence conditions will last for another 3 years and 8 months and then? …… if not before then? Will it really take another woman to be seriously hurt, damaged physically and mentally for life, before a more sensible approach is adopted with serial sex offenders like Carruthers?
One major ray of brightness has been that my blog has been picked up by a very special friend. Eryl, a super writer, who has her own blogs running, has been incensed not just as one of my friends, but because she also cares about the issues involved. I worry, as always, that she wasn't aware of the full story, but the article in the paper is now online and that must have been an eye opener for any decent person to read. I know how I'd feel if I read such a thing had happened to one of my pals. Eryl has said something about the Jane Dearie blog on her own blog in a post she's called, "Kicking against the pricks." I’ve already had responses as more people are aware of Eryl’s blog than my new one. To a person, they feel like we do. One more was a victim of serious sexual assault. If we can’t stop these dreadful crimes from happening (which realistically we can’t) then perhaps we can try to persuade the people who make the decisions appreciate the effects on the victims, their families and friends ....and that changes are in sore need of being set in motion.
Eryl has a superb blog at http://thekitchenbitchponders.blogspot.com/ and from that you can read some of the responses her readers have made to my situation and my own very baby blog. I think I’ll be asking for tips as well - just to find out how to do more with my blog as she has obviously got blogging far more sussed than I have!
Monday 22 September 2008
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4 comments:
As the commenter from your last post who was a victim of sexual assault, I am removing myself from the ranks of anonymous. We are truly proof of the power of one.
I'm sad that you are yet another woman who was sexually assaulted. Thank you for speaking out and joining the chorus Debra. Indeed it is through the concerted effort of women helping women that we might be able to engender positive changes. The effects of these crimes can and do last a lifetime. I don't think the way unrepentant sex offenders are dealt with in Scotland (and in other parts of the world) is right or fair to their victims. Take care and, as a fellow artist, I really like your work, Jane
hello Jane you are a very brave lady indeed i read your story in the magazine i felt moved how some-one of that stature could carry out such a dispicable act on some-one is beyond me he should have been made an example of and got life i admire you for coming forward with your story i hope you get all the help you need i know it has spoiled your life time of happiness but i wish you your family all the luck for the future by the way iam a male and it disgusted me so take care Jane bob
Thanks for your kind words Bob. He has certainly made the issue of trust incredibly difficult for me now. I quite agree, he should have got a heck of a lot longer and a life sentence was well deserved in his case.
I fight on and air the issues as I hope that some good might come out of all the adversity suffered by his victims. I hate to think other victims of serious crime might suffer the same dreadful things that I did and that is uppermost in my mind.
Thanks again Bob.
Best wishes, Jane
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