Is this really consultation?

On 1st September 2008 a consultation document was launched by the Scottish Government:
"SENTENCING GUIDELINES AND A SCOTTISH SENTENCING COUNCIL,
CONSULTATION AND PROPOSALS"
How did I find out about it? It was pure luck. Some time ago I decided to subscribe to the weekly round up of the SG consultations that comes by email. I do read this each week, and there it was, glaring out at me at the very time one of the most devious, dangerous and unrepentant men in Scotland was to be released from prison after just over 7 years inside for the most horrendous crimes and showing a complete abuse of power.
This consultation process – is it advertised other than online? If people who might well wish to comment are not Internet users then how do they find out what is up for consultation? Even if you are an Internet user, will you find this document easily? I think not. This is really important information that might well make such a difference in the most serious criminal cases. I asked Marcello Mega my journalist friend about it. He didn’t know this particular consultation process was ongoing. That only showed me how badly advertised these critical documents are advertised.
So what about the SG consultation process I ask myself? How can the population consult these guidelines and proposals in the documents and make responses by the cut off date if they don’t even know they exist? Is that right? Does it just pay lip service to the notion of real participation in a democracy?
I had an example quoted to me when one such document was spoken about after the consultation process. A journalist asked the Justice Minister, “and how many people responded to the consultation process.” Apparently the Minister said he didn’t know, looked to his civil servant aid. She procrastinated a fair bit, didn’t want to give an exact figure but said, “but it was advertised on our website on the Internet.” That is not a consultation process in my book. It’s more like a chance encounter.
So now you do know about this. The cut off date for responses for this particular consulation is 21st November 2008. The whole document and details of how you can respond is in .pdf format, available for you to read online and can be found at:
http://www.scotland.gov.uk/Consultations/Current
There it sits with many more interesting subjects that are currently “out for the consultation process.” I’d be most interested to know the average number of responses to any of these consultation documents from the general public who, after all are served by government.
I shall not only be making a submission in response by 21/11/08 but I shall also let my MSP know that this seems a very unfair way of making the electorate aware of how to have a say in what happens in critically important issues in society.

Little sleep and rays of sunshine

It’s been a crazy few days. I seem to rush around, achieve little, and then fall flat, absolutely drained of energy. My sleep ….. seems it isn’t happening for me despite feeling shattered most of the time. On the odd occasion I do sleep then the nightmares kick in or the Serco alarm makes the phone give one ring, as it does through the day, and that's it ....game over.
I saw one of the medics I’ve been seeing for over 10 years today. I mentioned I was doing this blog to try and get things changed for those who will sadly come in the future. To my absolute horror he revealed to me that there’d been another patient in the clinic with an identical story to the one I’d revealed. No panic, there's no breach of confidentiality here, just a statement of fact – a sad fact. I don’t know if this is the woman who left a comment on my blog or not. I have the feeling that when Lothian and Borders Police traced 38 Carruthers victims, there were always bound to many more.
How can 7 years and 4 months be enough for these crimes? The licence conditions will last for another 3 years and 8 months and then? …… if not before then? Will it really take another woman to be seriously hurt, damaged physically and mentally for life, before a more sensible approach is adopted with serial sex offenders like Carruthers?

One major ray of brightness has been that my blog has been picked up by a very special friend. Eryl, a super writer, who has her own blogs running, has been incensed not just as one of my friends, but because she also cares about the issues involved. I worry, as always, that she wasn't aware of the full story, but the article in the paper is now online and that must have been an eye opener for any decent person to read. I know how I'd feel if I read such a thing had happened to one of my pals. Eryl has said something about the Jane Dearie blog on her own blog in a post she's called, "Kicking against the pricks." I’ve already had responses as more people are aware of Eryl’s blog than my new one. To a person, they feel like we do. One more was a victim of serious sexual assault. If we can’t stop these dreadful crimes from happening (which realistically we can’t) then perhaps we can try to persuade the people who make the decisions appreciate the effects on the victims, their families and friends ....and that changes are in sore need of being set in motion.

Eryl has a superb blog at http://thekitchenbitchponders.blogspot.com/ and from that you can read some of the responses her readers have made to my situation and my own very baby blog. I think I’ll be asking for tips as well - just to find out how to do more with my blog as she has obviously got blogging far more sussed than I have!

Are you one?

I've been pondering about a comment left on my blog the other day by a woman who was also raped by Carruthers. I realise the amount of emotional outrage and stirring that will inevitably have been caused by the release of Carruthers from such a short time in prison, especially considering the nature of his crimes.

I don't know if you're the one who left the comment and perhaps you'll read this entry if you're following my blog. Whatever, please don't think you're alone. I'm sorry it happened to you too. I bottled it all up for so long, telling nobody. Bottled so much I could have got a job with Guinness, but the result has not been good for my mental health. That bottling, telling nobody (not helped by a string of other horrendous things in a short space of time) led to the chronic level of PTSD that I now have.

If you are a Carruthers victim and you're not coping with what's going on at the moment please speak to somebody if you feel able. Doesn't matter who - a trusted friend, the local rape crisis service, the lovely woman at the head of the Offender Mangament Unit of D&G Constabulary who has been so helpful to me about the release of that scumbag. Just please don't think you're alone with the burden of the memories of what that man did to you and to so many other women. I know you'll be understood and believed. That issue of belief is one of the worst things about sexual crimes. "How can I prove it?" Do take some courage in that it was proved and Carruthers was found guilty, did go to prison, albeit for not very long considering the nature of his crimes. He is a registered sex offender for life. He was found to have committed his crimes over a 20 year period - perhaps it was longer?

There have to be changes to the legislation and the way the legal system deal with these crimes and I'm really fighting for that, so much so that I gave up my image that was precious to me. If you believe in these changes being necessary too, do please leave me a comment - it could be done anonymously, it's up to you, just a show of support would be great.

Decent people do care about their fellow woman/man. Nobody deserves to be abused and in this case the use of a police uniform by Carruthers made it all so much worse. Help me to fight on and do make some noise, even if it's just a squeak!

Valued support

I've had quite a few emails since the Sunday papers were published and they are really supportive. I can see how many decent people think the legislation needs to be changed for serial sex offenders ....not to mention the attitude towards the victims of serious crimes.

This is one from an L&B officer who was involved with looking after me as liaison officer during the investigation. We've kept in touch ever since the trial ended and her job with me finished and it meant the world to me to get it this morning.

"I have just about recovered from choking on my toast on Sunday morning, with the Sunday Mail and Mail on Sunday almost falling off the table. “I know that face!!!!”

Good on you, Kiddo

Power in your hand for a change.

So proud of you. Massive step for you but I think a good and right one."

Day after publication

My back is utterly revolting again today. I suppose the house move alone was bound to take it's toll even though I've done very little physically. It ends up as another reminder of that dreadful day in October 96 that haunts me in all sorts of ways. A bad back always triggers more flashbacks too which one of the horrible sides to chronic PTSD. Flashbacks are such a pain and I'd do anything other than relive that life-changing day over and over again in glorious technicolour. As I know after years of so many doctors, consultants, specialists and experts, there are no solutions to my PTSD and so it's get on with it and keep taking the tablets. Mental health services have been a let down with being unable to help me that I now don't bother to say much as there is nothing positive that they seem to be able to do for me.
As you gather, I feel utterly drained and really quite down today and I've not been able to achieve much. Certainly not the list I'd made up last night. I try to do lists so I don't drift and lose my place with the things that need to be done. It's ordinary day-to-day living, but that doesn't always come easily for me after the assaults. Pain is never a good companion and the Tramadol pills and anti-inflammatory pills just aren't really touching the pain at the moment. My back is going into spasm frequently today and that is certainly not much fun.
All of this isn't what I'd expected today, but last week was a really busy one for me with the usual crop of medics to see and then the news articles to do ....not to mention the not so small matter of the release day of that devious and disgusting serial sex offender Carruthers on Friday.
I have to realise that I don't have masses of energy like I used to have, but this does irritate me and I get incredibly frustrated by not being able to keep going. Aye, I know, I shouldn't complain as there are sadly always others far worse off. I just 'don't do' the frustration issue very well.
Emails of support from the newspaper articles have been much appreciated and perhaps I might get some momentum behind the issue of serious sexual offences being treated as such by the government and the legislators of the future and even perhaps a change with those who deal with the perpetrators of these crimes who so often fail the victims. Am I dreaming on this one?
Victims of these very serious crimes are so often forgotten and yet they are the ones who really go through it, as do their families. Take the case of Ms X in the Carruthers trial. I was horrified when I found out what he'd done to her and how he'd duped her husband so he could rape her yet again. I honestly don't know how they might ever come to terms with that.
I seriously hope I'm not dreaming on achieving positive change as it really does matter to me that people who have been hurt, those driven to contemplate or those who have committed suicide because of heinous crimes have not suffered in vain. It also matters to me that the risk is minimised for the future and women are kept as safe as possible from the rapists and sex offenders - especially those who commit their crimes by abusing their power.

Sunday papers start my campaign

I've thought long and hard about keeping my right to anonymity. I've nothing to be ashamed of but I accept there are some strange people out there. I've only surrendered my image, not my real name. Today there are articles in the press that I've spent the last week on getting together with freelance journalist Marcello Mega; a man who has the very best of motives. He similarly sees unrepentant serial sex offenders being released back into the community as a recipe for disaster. Ex-police inspector and serial sex offender Adam Carruthers, was released from prison on 12th September 2008, having served just over seven years of his sentence.

My motives are to help others to see that I am an ordinary woman who certainly didn't ask for what happened to my life and to the way it's afffected the family and friends I love. I am appalled at current legislation letting such dangerous people back into our communities at automatic two-thirds sentence stage when it is recognised that they still pose a serious threat to women. These deserve longer sentences and should only be released when they show positive stages of rehabilitation, remorse and a desire to change their ways. This man was let back into the community with very strict licence conditions. So much so that he can't be alone with a single woman not a relative. I believe there are also tight monitoring and surveillance measures on him - so why was he released when considered so dangerous? Because that is the current legislation.

The senior policeman who attacked me was found to have raped, assaulted or stalked 38 women over a 20 year period by the Lothian and Borders Police investigation. I know, as many others do, this figure is 'tip of the iceberg.' I have become aware of other victims since my case was taken seriously and it grieves me that people have died as a result of the actions of Carruthers and there was a failure for women to be protected by the very justice system that should protect all citizens. Lord Dawson was right:

Carruthers was "a total disgrace to the uniform he wore."

The late Lord Dawson went on to say:
"I cannot express the revulsion and contempt with which decent members of society regard you."


I believed in the police and true justice when I worked voluntarily as a special constable, serving as many as 12 hours of my free time each week for my local communities. I enjoyed the work mostly. Drunks on a weekend were a pain, but to be able to help people in distress was something that I could do. To help people in those circumstances was a pleasure, and still is, albeit I'm no longer in the special constabulary or fit to do much of use to society.

The rape has taken the issue of trust away from me. I am only just starting to see that the police force in my area is now far more professional and accountable than it was ten years ago. This is one very good thing to come from the case of rogue cop Adam Carruthers.

So many women were badly let down by the justice system in the case of Adam Carruthers. Myself and two other women had our days in court, but I really feel for those who were not give that opportunity. I can't imagine how they must feel about that lack of justice after such major incidents in their lives.

What I want is change to this legislation and changes to how many people see rape and sexual assualt. If you feel as I do - please contact your MSP and let them know how you feel. You can do this by email, in person, by letter or by telephone. Your local MSP's details are available online, in libraries in Citizens Advice Bureaus and in other places.

If you are a woman who was attacked by this man or another man, I really feel for you. I'm sad that something so devastating and terrible has disrupted your life and I understand the complex issues that rape and sexual assault brings up in your whole life. If you live in Dumfries and Galloway then there is the local South West Scotland Rape Crisis and Sexual Abuse Centre on 01387 253113 or online at swrcandsac@btconnect.com They saved my life and I will always be so grateful to them for the help that they gave me in some of my darkest moments. If you're not from D&G then there are other centres and National Rape Crisis Network as well as local Women' Aid centres. Please don't be alone with your thoughts and bottle them up. As I know, it's not healthy and has led to PTSD and depression in my case.

If you wish to talk your case over with the police, it's a personal decision and only you will know if it's right for you. I do know they will listen and will take you seriously, especially if you are from D&G. I eventually did speak out when I thought there was a real chance of proving the deviousness and depravity of this so called 'respectable senior cop' and despite all the hard times, I'm pleased I did - even if it only helped remove a serial sex offender from our streets for 7 years and 4 months. It was something.

I was once told;
"all it takes for evil to succeed is for good men to do nothing."

Decisions

I've thought long and hard about keeping my right to anonymity. I've nothing to be ashamed of but I accept there are some strange people out there. I've decided I'll only surrender my image, not my real name.
Today I met with a freelance journalist I've got to know, Marcello Mega. He's written a lot of stories about some very high profile cases over the years and the case of Adam Carruthers has been no exception.

I got to know Marcello by accident. A local friend phoned me up to say there was a small piece on the back page of the Sunday Times (mid Sept. 99) and it mentioned the Carruthers case now in the hands of Lothian and Borders Police, and the article said there was a case kept live on file. That was mine and I was told this would never be published until there was a chance a trial could run. This was because Carruthers wasn't told that my case was being kept on file and it potentially put me back in danger again.

Turned out that the head of CID for D&G took exception to the article and decided to sue the journalist. I wrote to the Sunday Times offering support as nothing in that article was untrue and nothing that the man who was Head of CID should not accept as truth for the way the first (D&G Police inquiry) had gone, or had not gone in the case of the victims who were let down.

The first day I met Marcello he'd come to do an interview for a magazine and I was certain 'Marcello Mega' was a pseudonym. Not one bit of it! He wasn't "Big Mark" at all, but a very pleasant man of about 5 foot 5, with his head screwed on and with a determination for justice, especially where there has been obvious injustice.

So since that meeting we have kept in touch. Now he's told me there's this offer from several papers to do an article regarding the release of Adam Carruthers from prison at automatic two-thirds sentence stage, but .....they'd like my name and photos.

I've spoken to my mum, who is also my carer these days, and she's not happy about publication of the name, so it's going to be Jane Y. We've chosen Y - because I was Ms.Y in the High Court Trial in Glasgow in May 2001. I don't want to make Mum uneasy as she has suffered enough from the whole episode and she is now almost 80.
The effects of rape are like ripples in a pond - they affect many more people than the victims. Mum has suffered badly because of what happened to me. She lost all her hair as a result of the case - I have asked her if I can publish this and she says that's fine. Mum should be taking it easy and I should be doing more for her as she gets older - but it's the other way round these days with her being my registered carer. Thankfully for us both we are the best of buddies.