Decisions

I've thought long and hard about keeping my right to anonymity. I've nothing to be ashamed of but I accept there are some strange people out there. I've decided I'll only surrender my image, not my real name.
Today I met with a freelance journalist I've got to know, Marcello Mega. He's written a lot of stories about some very high profile cases over the years and the case of Adam Carruthers has been no exception.

I got to know Marcello by accident. A local friend phoned me up to say there was a small piece on the back page of the Sunday Times (mid Sept. 99) and it mentioned the Carruthers case now in the hands of Lothian and Borders Police, and the article said there was a case kept live on file. That was mine and I was told this would never be published until there was a chance a trial could run. This was because Carruthers wasn't told that my case was being kept on file and it potentially put me back in danger again.

Turned out that the head of CID for D&G took exception to the article and decided to sue the journalist. I wrote to the Sunday Times offering support as nothing in that article was untrue and nothing that the man who was Head of CID should not accept as truth for the way the first (D&G Police inquiry) had gone, or had not gone in the case of the victims who were let down.

The first day I met Marcello he'd come to do an interview for a magazine and I was certain 'Marcello Mega' was a pseudonym. Not one bit of it! He wasn't "Big Mark" at all, but a very pleasant man of about 5 foot 5, with his head screwed on and with a determination for justice, especially where there has been obvious injustice.

So since that meeting we have kept in touch. Now he's told me there's this offer from several papers to do an article regarding the release of Adam Carruthers from prison at automatic two-thirds sentence stage, but .....they'd like my name and photos.

I've spoken to my mum, who is also my carer these days, and she's not happy about publication of the name, so it's going to be Jane Y. We've chosen Y - because I was Ms.Y in the High Court Trial in Glasgow in May 2001. I don't want to make Mum uneasy as she has suffered enough from the whole episode and she is now almost 80.
The effects of rape are like ripples in a pond - they affect many more people than the victims. Mum has suffered badly because of what happened to me. She lost all her hair as a result of the case - I have asked her if I can publish this and she says that's fine. Mum should be taking it easy and I should be doing more for her as she gets older - but it's the other way round these days with her being my registered carer. Thankfully for us both we are the best of buddies.